The Battle For Survival
by BoxOfScraps
Summary: The biggest battle the team will ever face, who will win?


At the Hall of Justice...oh wait, wrong Justice League...meanwhile, at the super high tech space station IN SPACE, the Justice League was monitoring the earth. Or what was left of the Justice League...Wonder Woman sat at the controls, Hawkgirl was angstly walking about, and Superman was in a neckbrace in the corner.

The Flash slowly entered the room on crutches, door automatically shutting behind him. "Look who's back..." He quickly noticed the lack of people "where's Bats and G.L?"

The freaky alien dude appeared behind him with a clipboard. "Green Lantern has perished in the firey pits of a volcano, and Batman is in a full body cast in Gotham City Hospital, but he'll be out tomorrow."

"Jesus, don't scare me like that!" Flash said as he hobbled around to shout at J'on, but he'd already disappeared. "Freaky alien...anyway, shame about Bats...and that other guy."

"I think we have a bigger issue, look." Wonder Woman pointed to the screen, where it showed Gotham City, and a strange white figure floating in the air, tossing cars around.

"Gentleman Ghost..." Superman stood up from his chair and slowly walked over to the monitors. "Too bad Green Lantern isn't here, this is his enemy after all...I think, right?"

Everyone just shrugged and ran off to the jet thing, taking off for Gotham City, where the Gentleman Ghost was wreaking havoc.

And then, after all had left, Aquaman appeared on the screen. "HEY GUYS, CAN I HELP WITH—Awwwww...they're gone. I was going to offer to help with my WHAAAAALLLLES!"

Meanwhile, at Gotham City...

"No need to fear me, good people of Gotham, I'm only a freaky floating ghost wearing a monocle, who wants a hug?" Everyone stopped and stared at the Gentleman Ghost, contemplating his offer, then decided to run away some more. "Fine, you've sealed your own fate, Gotham City...EAT CAR!" He tossed another car at some dudes (Who DID A BARRL ROLL to evade) and continued to fly around.

"MY CAR!" A random guy shouted from afar.

"Soon the underworld will no longer be underground, and demons and spirits shall roam the earth!" Mr. Ghost laughed maniacally... that was until the Justice League's jet landed right on top of him.

The un-injured members ran out of the jet, ready to fight, whereas the two who were battered slowly hobbled out.

"Let's do this thing!" Superman said, pumped for battle despite the broken neck.

They all looked around for a moment, and then J'on appeared behind Flash again. "There doesn't appear to be any sign of the ghost."

"Goddammit dude, stop-" Flash spun around and he was gone yet again. "Okay, seriously, stop doing that!"

And then The Gentleman Ghost appeared above them, pissed off. "Okay, who's the asshole who landed a jet on—oh, why it's the Justice League...mostly. I see a few members are missing, how delightful. This shall make things quite easy now." He summoned a giant ghost dinosaur and it stomped towards the team. "Farewell!"

"Oh...fuck..." The team all said in unison before getting crushed by the foot.

"It...worked?" Gentleman Ghost made the dino disappear, and then flew down to the remains of the team. "It...WORKED! I won...holy hell, I never imagined that could work in any scenario, but there they are, _dead!_ Even Superman, somehow, but I'm not going to ask 'cause NOW I'M KING OF THE UNDER-OVERWORLD!"

Before he could evilly laugh though, a shot came out of nowhere and knocked him back. "I am Iron Man, and not yet, ghost boy!" Iron Man flew in and landed next to the team's remains. "Nice...well, now I don't have to go to their loser fandoms again at least." Iron Man leaned in and started to poke them with a stick he found. "Oh damn, Batman's not in there..."

"Ah, Iron Man." Gentleman Ghost flew into the air and crossed his arms nonchalantly. "I had a feeling in my pants that you'd come and try to ruin my plans!"

"...In your pants, what?" Iron Man asked, catching that.

"What? Nothing, just shut up and let me evilly rant! I knew you'd come, so that is why I've arranged a little welcoming party, three _friends_ of yours!" Gentleman Ghost snapped, and out of the ground emerged four ghostly figures...Wario, Nappa, Whiplash...and Lord Farquaad. "Wait, who the hell is the midget?"

Nappa patted Farquaad on the head and smiled. "I found him in the underworld, isn't he cute? Can we keep him, Vegeta? Can we, can we, can we?"

"I'm not VEGETA!" Wario shouted, jumping up and down in anger. "I'm-a Wario, W-A-R-I-O, you-"

"DUMMY!" Dracula shouted from somewhere in the city.

Whiplash surveyed the area, before activating his weapons. "Where's my bird..."

"Oh whatever, as long as he can help." Gentleman Ghost pointed to Iron Man and his cane began to glow. "ATTACK!"

"Bring it, bitch." Iron Man muttered. The four ghosts charged at Iron Man, who leapt into the air. When the dust cleared, the ghosts were in a pile, all attacking each other. "Hey idiots, I'm up here!"

The ghosts all un-tangled themselves and Farquaad was the first to make his move. "There goes my boy...all grown up and killing people!" Nappa started to cry, emotional from the 'moment'. But it was short lived when Iron Man blasted Farquaad away. "Nooooo! VEGETA JR.!"

"Yeah, I don't think that was his name, then again I don't give a shit." Iron Man targeted the three ghosts and prepared to attack them all at once.

"Sir, might I make a recommendation?" Jarvis asked.

Tony groaned and quickly let his guard down. "What is it, Jarvis, kind of busy here!"

"Well sir, if you blast them away, they'll just return, why not retain them and then toss them away." Jarvis suggested.

"...Finally, a good idea, looks like I won't mute you after all!" Iron Man flew through Nappa's chest and flipped them all off as he hovered on the other side. "Come and get me!"

"Okay." Nappa said as he appeared behind Tony and grabbed him. The other two ghosts piled on him and took him to the ground. "Dogpile!" Nappa shouted.

"Shit..." Tony muttered, stuck between some ghosts and a hard place.

"WHERE'S MY BIRD?" Whiplash shouted as he attacked from the pile.

And then, Fred Fredburger and Patrick Star (With pickle in hand) landed down in their Power Puff outfits. "HI THERE!" Fred shouted as he ran up to the ghosts.

"...Wanna make this a fivesome?" Patrick asked as he walked up to the pile of ghosts and Iron Man. Patrick jumped onto the group, and the ghosts dissipated briefly, before appearing in the air. Though Iron Man wasn't as lucky.

"Where's... my...BIRD?" Whiplash shouted again from the sky, hoping someone would have an answer for him.

Iron Man struggled to get up, but Patrick's weight was too much. Then he realized something... "Patrick, are you wearing a diaper?"

"Yup. Got tired of walkin' to the bathroom, easier just to crap ma pants." Patrick stroked his...pickle and laughed a bit.

"...I have an idea." Iron Man gathered enough strength to jump up and knock the starfish off of him. He took of Patrick's diaper and quickly looked away. "Alright, did _not_ want to see his junk, but thanks for sharing." He flew up into the air and prepared to attack.

Meanwhile, Fred Fredburger was next to the Gentleman Ghost, annoying him. "HEY! Hey mister ghost guy, want to hear a story?"

"Quite frankly, I-"

"Once upon a time, there was a lovely elephant named Fred. He lived in the valley of pinecones and ice cream-"

Back with Iron Man, he was ready to attack Nappa and Veget—Wario, with his new weapon...a dirty diaper "Come on, freaks, I dare you two to ram me as hard as you can." He thought for a second, then waved his hands. "I mean hit me, that sounded totally gay, not...yeah."

Ken Sebben popped up out of nowhere and smiled. "Ha ha! Anal protrusion." He disappeared as fast as he arrived.

"I think-a it's a trap..." Wario muttered to himself.

"Oh goody, I love traps!" Nappa shouted. "Let's go Vegeta!" He grabbed Wario's hand and flew off towards Iron Man.

"NO YOU-A IDIOT!" Wario tried to pull back, but the ghost Sayian was too strong.

They flew right towards Iron Man, who captured them in the big old stinky diaper. "That's right...Iron Man=99, Fictional Characters=0." He spun around and tossed the diaper into the air with such force, that it went all the way into space.

The dirty diaper spun into orbit and finally slowed down once it exited Earth's atmosphere. Wario and Nappa both took a breath and looked around, realizing the situation.

"Well...this-a sucks." Wario muttered.

Nappa, however, was enjoying himself. "Cheer up, Vegeta, at least there's free chocolate!" He grabbed himself some of the 'chocolate' and took a bite. "Eww...this chocolate tastes like shit, Vegeta!"

"That's cause it-a _is_ shit!" Wario shouted back, already annoyed.

"Oh...no wonder." Nappa decided to eat more of it for no apparent reason as they continued to float off into the vast emptiness of space.

"Well...that was _really_ disgusting..." Iron Man said, apparently having heard the joke. He looked over and realized that Whiplash was still around.

"WHERE IS MY **BIRD?**_"_ And per usual, his bird appeared next to him, and landed on his wrist. "BIRDIE!"

"Hold on there, big boy." Iron Man flew next to him and put a tiny leash on his bird and handed it to Whiplash. "There, now leave me the hell alone." Whiplash kissed Iron Man and then disappeared, hopefully leaving him alone forever. "...Why did a dude just kiss me."

"And-then-everyone-lived-happily-ever-after!" Fred Fredburger quickly said, finishing up his story to the Gentleman Ghost. All this time, he was telling it to him, while G.G was pounding his head against a light pole in agony. "Want to hear it again?"

"NO, GOD NO!" Gentleman Ghost shouted as he took Fred by the neck and shook him.

"OKAY!" Fred said as he was dropped to the ground, G.G giving a sigh of relief...though it would be for naught. "Once upon a time-"

"AHHHH!" Gentleman Ghost flew away from him and to Iron Man. "Forget it, man, just forget it! You win, that thing is too annoying, I won't take over the Earth, just get that thing away from me, man!" Gentleman Ghost saw Fred coming for him and quickly disappeared himself.

Iron Man patted Fred on the head. "Good job, little annoying asswipe!"

"THANKS!" Fred didn't take the insult at all and just laughed.

Patrick walked up next to them, eating his pickle. "Wanna go do it?" He asked the two.

"Um...no, not really. In fact, I'm-" Iron Man's phone rang and he quickly pulled it out. "Hold on. Hello?" On the other line there was heavy breathing. "Hello? This better not be Aquaman..." And then suddenly... '_Nanananananana BATMAN!'_ Played on the other end and the person hung up. "Well, that wasn't blatantly obvious or anything." He crushed the phone in his hand and flew away, leaving Fred with Patrick.

"You wanna do it?" Patrick asked Fred.

"SURE!" He took Patrick's hand and walked off into the sunset with him. "Do what?"

Phil Ken Sebben popped up again, this time in a princess outfit. "Ha ha! Unexpected sodomy."


End file.
